| Saturday, November 7th, 2009 |
| 11:28 am |
So im sitting in bed i just finished the first disk of pushing daisies season 1. it is a really fun show. my stomach has been killing me lately. since all the drama with my mom, i've been sick all the time. mentally i react to stress well but physically not so much. i've been losing weight im sure in part to my active job and eating nothing most of the time. going back to the being sick im sure that has something to do with weight loss as well. im only posting because it's been 8 weeks i've been busy and trying to maintain a positive life with shit going on all around me. well i love you all bye, for now. |
| Thursday, September 10th, 2009 |
| 6:34 pm |
why do i even try... regardless i say im glad you are happy. and i wish you the best in everything you do. Current Mood:  disappointed |
| Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 |
| 6:30 pm |
is there any end to hate? people just go back and fourth on how they feel in this world. i have never been a fan of this. if i love something i love it forever. its a never ending thing for me. i always want it in my life. from ex's to my fav resturants that changed there menus. i still love all of this. its been hard for me to not be friends with amber. i wouldnt change anything i did but to be honest i just want to call her and have those conversations we used to have and i dont mean like lovey dovey shit i mean just the plain old friendship conversations. we could talk for hours. i know that if i tried to call her she would just use it againest me saying im trying to stalk her or make her life harder. i found this letter she stuck in my stuff and mostly it said mean stuff but little by little i noticed all the nice things she said. she has been pretty hateful about this situation. not saying she has no reason to be upset. she did. but regardless. i heard she has a new bf and she is in love. this makes me very happy to hear this. i hope this guy is better for her than me or i could have been. unlike amber i dont look at her as the bad points but the good ones i hope she does the same i do have love for amber. well i got your note amber and i hope you are happy i wish we could be friend even if you changed the menu. as for my life. me and trin are doing well. she had her job interview today. its was a group interview which she hated but i think she did fine. its weird us being together sometime especially in dreams. i know that sounds stupid but it makes sense to me. im done with magic and all that for now. my heart isnt in it. the cats drive me crazy in the morning. they are just not blazer. i love veda she is my girl butters i have no connection with. he is just animal in my house. i want to see old blaze. i wish they had visitations for animals. i go to court for that. trin has been sick this week it has me worried i want her to be ok. the doctor said she was fine other than not taking her meds. im actually in good health according to the doctors which is funny. i think that is so awesome that me shaun korb is considered to be in good health. i feel like i never eat ever. it sucks. our new bed is nice. if you ever feel like coming over do so. its an awesome bed. we need to get rid of stuff we have way to much of it as is. i dont want anything new. until we get rid of some shit. iam buying a computer this weekend so we can get the internet. so to summerize my life and feelings. i dont like letting go of things. anything. all my old friends who are never around who i would be sad if they were i want them around. and my stuff i like my stuff but it does nothing for me. it just takes up space and messes up my life. im happy about being able to help my mom. its something i take great pride in. if you ever have a chance to help someone i suggest do it. if you ever have the chance to love someone special i suggest do so. im on my 2nd person who i have felt great love for and she is amazing amber was too dont get me wrong but they can never be compared in anyway. other than i loved amber and i love trin. its nice to not care who reads that i love trin. she is an amazing girl and you are suffering greatly if she is not in your life. so good luck world. i dont know if any of this made sense and i dont care. and if i have horrible grammar and punctuation i dont care. if you hate me i dont care. this is how i feel. love life i do. make the best of what you can put together. im in love. i miss my past and im busy at work. bye. now... |
| Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 |
| 1:25 pm |
so my off days for the next two weeks are as follows. 9/11/09/,9/13,9/16/and 9/18 then thats all the schedules up to now. im just trying to figure out what im gonna do. i know ill start off all of these off days cleaning and taking care of the home front. then i dunno fridays i assume ill be hanging with trin but you never know. she might want to do her own thing. which is cool. i just need to know. which then ill clean and go out and do things. ive been working more and now ill clean my house more and get things done. im focusing on an amazing life i want to keep it that way. bye fow now... |
| Thursday, September 3rd, 2009 |
| 6:40 pm |
after a crazy week of work working overtime. just shit going through all the worst things i can be put through. i have to deal with an amazing reward. im off all weekend whahaha. yep thats right friday,saturday,sunday,and monday. 4 days of awesomeness. me,trin and ali are going to the zoo tomorrow and maybe the drive in shhh i havent asked trin yet. then of course on sat going to a ben traughber show. then on sunday maybe going to see tara play and monday i just chill. monday im not doing shit. just so you know me it and the tv and im vegging the fuck out. i wont even know who iam after this weekend its gonna be so amazing. also i bought trin a used guitar today. it was a fender accoutic. it was a 100 bucks. her friend sold it but i paid for the fruits of me working more and more is paying off. im loving it. thank you world for letting me know im a good guy by giving me all this greatness. its awesome to love when you go home. my mom has even been in good. her moods have been up. im very happy trin is perfect even my job aint so bad. im still looking for a new one. so who knows. you never know whats gonna happen everyday seems like a perfect day. to be honest iam ready to be off work today. well i gotta run back to the grind... bye for now. Current Mood:  ecstatic |
| Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009 |
| 8:19 pm |
all i want to hear is in the time of hate by endpoint an album of my youth. if you grew up in the louisville metro area endpoint was the band. they were amazing. i enjoyed i just bought the album on amazon.com... bye for now. |
| Monday, August 31st, 2009 |
| 2:52 pm |
so bored. work is dragging i really shouldnt say that, its not so bad its almost lunch time. im re-reading hairstyles of the damned. it is an amazing book if you get a chance check it out. im falling in love with it all over again. the characters all remind me of people i knew in high school and some exs and some teachers i had. its very wierd. the main character reminds me of trin he is a guy though its kind of funny. bye for now. |
| Thursday, August 27th, 2009 |
| 4:32 pm |
to be honest i miss the days before cell phones or the internet. i remember the days where you had to struggle to find something to do. the newspapers and zines were your sources of finding a friday night fun. that was awesome. gogle makes it one click away. and to call you friends is just a search through the contacts. i know its better this way and easier for everyone. but i like the seek and find ideas of my past you found things to do sometimes that you never would have thought of and if you did they wouldnt seem like fun until you were doing it. thats what i dream and strive for again turn off the compa nd your cell phone right after you read this. bye for now. |
| Tuesday, August 25th, 2009 |
| 5:14 pm |
just a dream.
so the things that ring when the signs point west. something in the sands of time seem to slip through my fingers when 10 years ago seems closer then 10 months ago. my only friend left and were left in love. the anger over the edge of others seems to fade on my endless horizon. do try to get to close ill melt and fade if you hold me to tight. im imaginary and you cant even get past my dream to see through the old window left stained with dirt. just a child a 12 year old girl ive become. she is alone in the night. and the light changes in the sky to hard to see. bye for now. |
| Saturday, August 22nd, 2009 |
| 6:04 pm |
|
| 2:11 pm |
i love hearing good news it lets me know the world is not an evil place where people only let you down. |
| Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 |
| 1:53 pm |
work is the worst of sundays. this weekend was fun i guess. im looking forward for tuesday. just so you know tuesday was amazing it started of slowly but then i got in the water at deams lake and it made the day perfect. i think there is no way you can be mad while you are swimming at all. its just impossible. if you can than you are a horrible person. enough said. im so stoked about the blackest night it is great so far. its zombies and hal jorbdan trying to stop them how could i not love that. its right up my ally. i think alot of people are going to die in the dc universe. blah. im just focusing on paying bills latley and getting ready to try and hit the gym more. i also quit smoking the other day. im super happy it will be 2 days at midnight tonight. i know it doesnt seem like a long time but it is. well im off bye for now. |
| Sunday, August 9th, 2009 |
| 1:22 pm |
work is pretty steady right now. im having fun with it. ive been working alot latley more than i have in awhile. everything is so messed up at work with the way things work but thats for another day.next saturday i have a magic tourney the first one where im not playing kithkin in a long time. just enjoying the day. i want it to work out i want to do well. i wish i could have play tested more but oh well it happens. im not going to lose sleep over it i still know im one of the best constructed players in the louisville metro area. i have the respect and the play that i need to do well. good players realize how dangerous iam and new or bad players know its an auto loss which is a good way for them to think. im gonna play r/b aggro hand disruption which is what i did in my youth to win iloved r/b but there is no hymn to tourach now. just blightning. now there is a lightning bolt. that i love and a black knight and a pumpknight thats just better. im gonna try it. bye for now. |
| Monday, August 3rd, 2009 |
| 8:12 pm |
work is getting really old. they tried to yell at me for stuff ive already been in trouble for but my boss is gone and other bosses are now yelling at me. it is insane. im utterly annoyed. it is so fucking stupid. i need a break a new. blah blah blah. im going insane. yes sir. its offical im done with call center work. i have no clue what i want to do. id like to help people or work with kids. i know that seems lame. but i like kids and we get along great mostly. and im super nice. i know my look doesnt fit it but it should be pretty fun. im going to be looking into this now. i dont really have a dream job so to speak. unless you count private dectective. which i wish i could do that. im happy and id never quit my job but i know this part of my life is coming to an end. it reminds me of things i wish to forget. bye now. |
| Sunday, August 2nd, 2009 |
| 10:59 am |
just a fucktard waiting for my things a week later.
ok so im at work starting the day. its been a long one today. im tired and wanting to get off work. trin andme may go to the zoo on tuesday. depending on how much money we have. i went to a party last night it was fun we didnt stay long maybe 2 and half hours but there was great food and cool people there that i love... im feeling good today. wish i was off. wanting to look past all the bullshit and i want some stars to fall for me to wish on. bye for now. |
| Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 |
| 12:59 pm |
so ive had a busy week. working and trying to get things in order. im just hoping the world is going well for everyone. my b-day was great i got the state,the watchmen and a new A's hat i havent had a new one since 04 when i got back from seattle. it is sweet one of the home hats i wish it was away just for a change of pace but i love it. i got a cool new journal. its awesome leather very neat i think i will just use it as a journal. i have two poetry books why not try to express my feelings in a private setting where it only makes sense to me and i can make everything just the way i want it to sound with no one to say different. that sounds awesome. im so slow at work if you are bored hit me up on aim sanitylastchance is myname on there. thanks for a the best bday in years trin. you really know me. i love you... bye for now. Current Mood:  dorky |
| Monday, July 27th, 2009 |
| 12:12 pm |
You hate me? well guess what i hate myself even more. fuck you, you stupid ass whore. my mothers called me worse than you ever could. remember that tonight when your drunk. i want to die everyday and for 5 years you didnt change that and she doesnt now. its all the same to me if you run your bullshit lies into the ground like the 100 men who took advantage of your pure soul before. its ok i always said im just like the rest. i like being just another number. you've eliminated everyone who knew of your whorish past. but me it was told me by to many... goodnight and fuck off... Current Mood:  accomplished |
| Sunday, July 26th, 2009 |
| 7:22 pm |
im so bored at work. today has gone on and on. im in good spirits and things are going well. but im tired and ready to home for sure. i still have two more hours. it has been a busy day and a slow day all in one. im going crazy. i could careless about network settings. and things of that nature. im so effing stir crazy. ready to get out of here and go home and just chill tomorrow should be cool i work today,weds,thursday and sat this week. i already have 8 hours under my belt today and then im off tomorrow and that next day so i have some time to get my head straight. im super excited to be helping my mom. it makes me happy to know that i can do this and help her pay her bills in her time of need when she has done this for me and others in the past. im just super tired and trying to stay awake while on this call but it is not easy. im focusing on the future paying my bills and making sure ill have something to look forward to always. trin is out with lorna right now. i hope they are having fun doing a girls thang haha. im excited to see funny people this weekend it should be a great movie and very enjoyable. i love it. judd apatow is an amazing writer. well peeps back to the grind. bye for now. |
| Friday, July 24th, 2009 |
| 11:13 pm |
So ive decided to chalk up my fathers hammer as a loss. after reading one of ambers friends posts to ambers lj that are filled with half truths and flat out lies i just cant contact amber via mutual friend or any other way. first off i have the message where amber sent me my picture of me and trin that she stole off my old phone i gave to dugan as sad as that is. also i have the message on my old phone saved where amber sent me a message saying she loved me. the only things i have contacted amber with are brians death, wanting my stuff,and to ask her to stop her attacks on me and trin. after amber posted song after song directed at me and trin we finally did the same. amber has banned us from commenting on her journal in hopes that her lies and falsehoods can stand up. if she is the type of person who would do this or keep one of the only things i have of my dead father who passed away when i was one, then she truly is that selfish and mean spirited a person. after this i will never mention her or attempt to contact her in any way shape or form so that if she continues her lies i can ignore them and hopefully reasonable people can as well. i hate all of this drama and bullshit she keeps rehashing and when we defend ourselves we are told we started it. well i know i am happy and sleep very well at night knowing in my heart i have gone for love and done nothing wrong. i wish you all the best and thank you anonymous friend for your words of wisdom. it is one of the reasons i have given up all hopes for them. bye for now. |
| Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 |
| 1:57 pm |
some people never learn they go through life trying to ruin everyone elses life. well enough is enough. i cant hide from the fact that i was wrong about amber she is obviously unstable and in need of serious professional help. i hope that she seeks that out one day. until then i hope she can leave me and my wife alone stop her rants to anyone that will listen. i didnt cheat on amber i left her when i realized that we argued all the time and hated each other. i fell in love with trin after breaking up with amber. we were best of friends she was there for me when amber would go through her bouts of anger. when amber got drunk and made out with two girls at a party which was a regular occurance. i left her. it had all mounted up. i didnt tell amber about trinity because of her anger and hurting me mentally or herself physically. i kept it a secret and also it was none of her buisness. when amber found out she blew off the handle because she was still in love with me. since this time she has been on a misson of slandering my name while i have said nothing but nice things about and too her unless i was very angry and got fed up with her bullshit. she is continuing this now by posting shitty videos. when me or trin repsonds she acts like we should keep our mouths shut. well i can say im not very good at staying quiet for long. i hate the lackies amber surrounds herself with that believe all of her bullshit. they are not worth my time. and has for her drunken rages well im tired of those too. its old news i love my life. im very happy and she wants to bring me down. guess what its not happening.give me my stuff and go away. bye for now. |
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